The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
