So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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