The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
