Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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