she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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