u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize