hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
