I hate your face
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
