i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
