You work out of a Hotel?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
