I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Panties = found
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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