Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
