you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
