Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
