do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize