Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
