I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
