I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
