The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
