i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
