that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
