Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
