is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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