You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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