Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
