I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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