jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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