whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
