my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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