Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize