those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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