i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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