Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize