did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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