hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Two words: nipple clamps
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