a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
