hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
