Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
