I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
