If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
