$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
