Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just high enough for therapy.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
