Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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