So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
