so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
