I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
