So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
