apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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