apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
