Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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