I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
