so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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