Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
