Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
from now on my penis is your penis
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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