I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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