there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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