p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
