The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
