porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just google imaged poop.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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