Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
