I forgot how hot balto sounded
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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