Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
